Search:

Type: Posts; User: Cable; Keyword(s):

Page 1 of 2 1 2

Search: Search took 0.11 seconds.

  1. Replies
    28
    Views
    9,636

    Sticky: Important announcement for members

    Count me in Gazer, great idea.
  2. Thread: Best Genie Joke

    by Cable
    Replies
    0
    Views
    941

    Best Genie Joke

    A husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.

    The husband...
  3. Replies
    0
    Views
    945

    The Afghan Footballer

    The Liverpool manager flies to Kabul to watch a young Afghan boy play football.
    He is suitably impressed and arranges for the player to come over.

    Two weeks later Liverpool are 2-0 down to...
  4. Replies
    0
    Views
    762

    You Can Never Beat a Scouser

    This story has been considerably modified to minimise racial, ethnic, political and religious sensitivities across international boundaries

    A Romanian and a Liverpool guy go into a pastry shop. ...
  5. Replies
    4
    Views
    1,030

    FW: The ultimate ethnic joke

    THE ULTIMATE ETHNIC JOKE

    An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a ...
  6. Thread: Murphy

    by Cable
    Replies
    1
    Views
    752

    Murphy

    An Irishman was walking home late at night and sees a woman in the dark shadows.

    'Thirty euros,' she whispers.

    Murphy had never been with a hooker before, but decides what the hell, it's only...
  7. Thread: First the Apple

    by Cable
    Replies
    0
    Views
    659

    First the Apple

    First the Apple:

    A woman ran a red traffic light and crashed into a man's car. Both of their cars are demolished but amazingly neither of them was hurt.
    After they crawled out of their cars,...
  8. Thread: On His Death Bed

    by Cable
    Replies
    0
    Views
    706

    On His Death Bed

    Doug Smith is on his deathbed, knows the end is near.
    His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons, are with him.
    "So", he says to them:
    "Bernie, I want you to take the Mayfair houses."
    "Sybil,...
  9. Thread: Snow

    by Cable
    Replies
    0
    Views
    841

    Snow

    Lady goes on vacation to Jamaica. Upon arriving, she meets a black man, and after a night of passionate love making she asks him, 'What is your name?'

    'I can't tell you,' the black man says.
    ...
  10. Thread: Rear Shocks

    by Cable
    Replies
    2
    Views
    1,531

    Rear Shocks

    At my last MOT i was given an advisory that one of the rear shocks was leaking on my 2001 Renault Laguna. Have decided on DIY but on researching the work it would seem that the bottom fixing can be a...
  11. Thread: Snow Today

    by Cable
    Replies
    0
    Views
    648

    Snow Today

    On a bitterly cold winter morning a husband and wife in Dublin were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must...
  12. Thread: Paddy McCoy

    by Cable
    Replies
    1
    Views
    889

    Paddy McCoy

    Paddy McCoy, an elderly Irish farmer, received a letter from the Department for Work & Pensions stating that they suspected he was not paying his employees the statutory minimum wage and they would...
  13. Thread: Airlines

    by Cable
    Replies
    0
    Views
    712

    Airlines

    A man is alone in an airport lounge. A beautiful woman walks in and sits down at the table next to him.
    He decides, because she's wearing a uniform, she's probably an off-duty stewardess.
    So he...
  14. Thread: Oo and oO

    by Cable
    Replies
    0
    Views
    568

    Oo and oO

    Two young guys appear in court after being arrested for smoking dope.

    The judge says, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance instead of jail time. I want you to go...
  15. Replies
    0
    Views
    721

    Believe an Irishman?

    An Irishman was drinking in a bar in London when he gets a call on his cell phone.

    He orders drinks for everybody in the bar as he announces his wife has just produced a typical Irish baby boy...
  16. Replies
    0
    Views
    726

    Baptising an Irishman

    An Irish man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptising people in the river.

    The drunk proceeds into the water, subsequently bumping into the preacher....
  17. Thread: Holy Water

    by Cable
    Replies
    0
    Views
    698

    Holy Water

    A train hits a bus load of Catholic college girls and they all perish.
    They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St. Peter.

    St. Peter asks the first girl, "Jessica, have you...
  18. Replies
    0
    Views
    781

    How to ask for a Pay Rise

    The German maid asked for a pay increase.

    The wife was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise.

    She asked, Now Inge, why do you want a pay increase?"
    ...
  19. Thread: My Better Half

    by Cable
    Replies
    0
    Views
    659

    My Better Half

    She asked me what I was doing on the computer last night.

    I told her I was looking for cheap flights.

    "I love you!" she said, and then she got all excited, quickly
    undressed and we had the...
  20. Thread: Man of the House

    by Cable
    Replies
    0
    Views
    831

    Man of the House

    The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled
    'YOU CAN BE THE MAN OF YOUR HOUSE.'



    He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, 'From now on, you need to know that I am...
  21. Thread: Get in Line

    by Cable
    Replies
    1
    Views
    820

    Get in Line

    A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse...
  22. Thread: Paddy

    by Cable
    Replies
    1
    Views
    794

    Paddy

    Paddy took 2 stuffed dogs to the 'Antiques Roadshow'.

    "Ooh!" said the presenter, "This is a very rare set, produced by the celebrated Johns Brothers taxidermists who operated in London at the turn...
  23. Thread: Male Blonde

    by Cable
    Replies
    0
    Views
    607

    Male Blonde

    An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.
    They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get...
  24. Replies
    0
    Views
    792

    Irishman in the elevator

    Skinny little white Irishman goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little Irishman staring at him, he looks down and says:
    '7 feet...
  25. Thread: Capitalisation

    by Cable
    Replies
    0
    Views
    550

    Capitalisation

    From an English professor - short and to the point

    In the world of hi-tech gadgetry, I've noticed that more and more people who send text messages and emails have long forgotten the art of capital...
  26. Thread: Scousers

    by Cable
    Replies
    0
    Views
    644

    Scousers

    A Scouser walked into the local job centre, marched straight up to the counter and said 'Hi, I'm looking for a job'.
    The man behind the counter replied 'Your timing is amazing'.
    We've just got one...
  27. Replies
    2
    Views
    1,584

    Re: Megaupload Is Back as "Mega" in 4 Days

    It would seem that even though his site might be under more scrutiny it has been a successful launch albeit that the free storage offer is low and his prices for premium accounts relatively high.
    ...
  28. Thread: indoor aeiral

    by Cable
    Replies
    3
    Views
    1,244

    Re: indoor aeiral

    I am restricted to having an indoor aerial and if space is limited this one is excellent. Philex SLX Gold digiTop 27769R.

    Been reviewed...
  29. Replies
    4
    Views
    1,162

    Three Men in a Bar

    An Australian, an Irishman and a Scouser are in a bar.
    They're staring at another man sitting on his own at a table in the corner.
    He's so familiar, and not recognising him is driving them mad....
  30. Thread: Swimming Pool

    by Cable
    Replies
    0
    Views
    736

    Swimming Pool

    I was at the swimming pool and decided to have a sneaky piss in the deep end. The lifeguard must have noticed, he blew his whistle so loud i nearly fell in!
  31. Thread: My Nephew

    by Cable
    Replies
    0
    Views
    505

    My Nephew

    It's my scouse nephew's birthday tomorrow, so as a suprise i've put ?10 in his nan's purse.
  32. Thread: The Girlfriend

    by Cable
    Replies
    2
    Views
    965

    The Girlfriend

    I thought my new girlfriend might be 'the one' but after looking through her knicker drawer and finding a nurse's uniform, a french maid's outfit and a policewomen's uniform i've dumped her. She...
  33. Replies
    9
    Views
    4,749

    Re: Replacing Water Isolating Valve

    There was no way i could have frozen, drained down the system and replaced a single isolating valve in the 30 mins that the domestic freeze kits state that they last and would have ended up in the...
  34. Replies
    9
    Views
    4,749

    Re: Replacing Water Isolating Valve

    Sorted. Picked up the water pipe freezing machine this morning from HSS on the Old Kent Road and sorted the two valves out. Pipe (15mm) was frozen in ten minutes and once the system was drained down...
  35. Replies
    0
    Views
    644

    Nurses Aren't Supposed to Laugh

    "Of course I won't laugh," said the nurse. "I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient.."
    "Okay then," said Bob, and he proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing...
  36. Thread: Australian Clock

    by Cable
    Replies
    1
    Views
    771

    Australian Clock

    Proudly showing off his newly-leased downtown apartment to a couple of friends late one night, a drunk Maori led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong hanging on the wall.
    ...
  37. Replies
    0
    Views
    638

    Never Lie to a Woman

    A man called home to his wife and said, Honey, I have been asked to go
    fishing up in Canada with my boss & several of his Friends
    We'll be gone for a week.
    This is a good opportunity for me to...
  38. Replies
    0
    Views
    617

    Confessions of a Hooker

    A couple were lying in bed together on the morning of their tenth wedding anniversary
    when the wife says, 'Darling, as this is such a special occasion, I think that it is time I
    made a confession:...
  39. Thread: True Romance

    by Cable
    Replies
    0
    Views
    606

    True Romance

    A Welshman was washed up on a beach after a shipwreck.


    Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. After looking around, he realised that they were stranded on a deserted island.
    ...
  40. Thread: Paddy and Murphy

    by Cable
    Replies
    0
    Views
    620

    Paddy and Murphy

    A Muslim was sitting next to Paddy on a plane.

    Paddy ordered a whisky.

    The stewardess asked the Muslim if he'd like a drink.

    He replied in disgust "I'd rather be raped by a dozen...
Results 1 to 40 of 60
Page 1 of 2 1 2