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  1. #1
    Legend 10mg's Avatar
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    5 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Apocalypse Could Actually Happen

    We found out recently that if you try to leave a little kid in a graveyard late at night, he'll freak out. Even if you offer to leave him a gun to protect himself. Why? It's because on some instinctual level, all humans know it's just a matter of time until the zombies show up.
    Our culture is full of tales of the undead walking the Earth, from our religions to our comic books. But, some sort of zombie apocalypse isn't actually possible, right?
    Right?
    Guys?
    Actually, yes. It's quite possible. Here's five ways it could happen, according to science.
    #5.
    Brain Parasites

    As seen in ...
    Resident Evil IV
    What are they?
    Hidden Content Parasites that turn victims into mindless, zombie-like slaves are fairly common in nature. There's one called Hidden Content that seems to devote its entire existence to being terrifying.
    This bug infects rats, but can only breed inside the intestines of a cat. The parasite knows it needs to get the rat inside the cat (yes, we realize this sounds like the beginning of the most f**ked-up Dr. Seuss poem ever) so the parasite takes over the rat's freaking brain, and intentionally makes it scurry toward where the cats hang out. The rat is being programmed to get itself eaten, and it doesn't even know.
    Of course, those are just rats, right?
    How it can result in zombies:
    Hey, did we mention that Hidden Content , and don't know it? Hey, maybe you're one of them. Flip a coin.
    Oh, also, they've done studies and shown that Hidden Content .
    Chances this could cause a zombie apocalypse:
    Humans and rats aren't all that different; thats why they use them to test our drugs. All it takes is a more evolved version of toxoplasmosa, one that could to do us what it does to the rats. So, imagine if half the world suddenly had no instinct for self-preservation or rational thought. Even less than they do now, we mean.

    If you're comforting yourself with the thought that it may take forever for such a parasite to evolve, you're forgetting about all the biological weapons programs around the world, intentionally weaponizing such bugs. You've got to wonder if the lab workers don't carry out their work under the unwitting command of the toxoplasmosa gondii already in their brains. If you don't want to sleep at night, that is.
    You may be protesting that technically these people have never been dead and thus don't fit the dictionary definition of "zombies," but we can assure you that the distinction won't matter a whole lot once these groaning hordes are clawing their way through your windows.


    #4 Neurotoxins
    As seen in ...
    The movie The Serpent and the Rainbow, the upcoming Resident Evil 5 video game.
    What are they?
    Hidden Content There are certain kinds of poisons that slow your bodily functions to the point that you'll be considered dead, even to a doctor (okay, maybe not to a good doctor). The poison from fugu (Japanese blowfish) can do this.
    The victims can then be brought back under the effects of a drug like datura stramonium (or other chemicals called Hidden Content ) that leave them in a trance-like state with no memory, but still able to perform simple tasks like eating, sleeping, moaning and shambling around with their arms outstretched.
    How it can result in zombies:
    "Can?" How about "does."
    This stuff has happened in Haiti; that's where the word "zombie" comes from. There are books about it, the most famous ones by Dr. Wade Davis (Hidden Content and Hidden Content ). Yes, the movie Hidden Content was based on this guy's actual science stuff. How much of it was fact? Well, there was that one scene where they strapped the guy naked to a chair and drove a huge spike through his balls. We're hoping that part wasn't true.
    What is definitely true is the story of Hidden Content . He was a Haitian guy who was declared dead by two doctors and buried in 1962. They found him wandering around the village 18 years later. It turned out the local voodoo priests had been using naturally occurring chemicals to basically zombify people and putting them to work on the sugar plantations (Hidden Content ).
    So, the next time you're pouring a little packet of sugar into your coffee, remember that it may have been handled by a zombie at some point.
    Chances this could cause a zombie apocalypse:
    On the one hand, it's already f**king happened! So that earns it some street cred right off the bat. But, even if some evil genius intentionally distributed alkaloid toxins to a population to turn them into a shambling, mindless horde, there is no way to make these zombies aggressive or cannabalistic.
    Yet.





    #3The Real Rage Virus
    As seen in ...
    28 Days Later
    What is it?
    Hidden Content In the movie, it was a virus that turned human beings into mindless killing machines. In real life, we have a series of brain disorders that do the same thing. They were never contagious, of course. Then, Mad Cow Disease came along. It attacks the cow's spinal cord and brain, turning it into a stumbling, mindless attack cow.
    And, when humans eat the meat ...
    How it can result in zombies:
    When Mad Cow gets in humans, they call it Hidden Content . Check out the symptoms:


    • Changes in gait (walking)
    • Hallucinations
    • Lack of coordination (for example, stumbling and falling)
    • Muscle twitching
    • Myoclonic jerks or seizures
    • Rapidly developing delirium or dementia

    Sure, the disease is rare (though maybe Hidden Content ) and the afflicted aren't known to chase after people in murderous mobs. Yet.
    But, it proves widespread brain infections of the Rage variety are just a matter of waiting for the right disease to come along.
    Chances this could cause a zombie apocalypse:
    If the whole sudden, mindless violence idea seems far-fetched, remember that you are just one brain chemical (serotonin) away from turning into a mindless killing machine (they've tested it by putting rats in Hidden Content ). All it would take is a disease that destroys the brain's ability to absorb that one chemical and suddenly it's a real-world 28 Days Later.
    So, imagine such an evolved disease, which we'll call Super Mad Cow (or, Madder Cow) getting a foothold through the food supply. Say this disease spreads through blood-on-blood contact, or saliva-on-blood contact. Now you have a Rage-type virus that can be transmitted with a bite.
    Just like the movie. With one bite, you're suddenly the worst kind of zombie:
    A fast zombie.




    #2Neurogenesis
    As seen in ...
    Laboratories around the world.
    What is it?
    You know all that conversy out there about stem cell research? Well, the whole thing with stem cells is that they can basically be used to re-generate dead cells. Particularly of interest to zombologists like ourselves is Hidden Content , the method by which they can re-grow dead brain tissue.
    You can see where this is going.
    How it can result in zombies:
    Hidden Content You wanted the undead to make an appearance in this article? Well, here you go, you creepy b*stards.
    Science can pretty much save you from anything but brain death; they can swap out organs but when the brain turns to mush, you're gone. Right?
    Well, not for long. They're already able to Hidden Content until they wake up and walk around again.
    Couple that with the new ability to Hidden Content so that it can be brought back to life later, and soon we'll be able to bring back the dead, as long as we get to them quickly enough.
    That sounds great, right? Well, Hidden Content dedicated to "reanimation research" (yes, that's what they call it) explains how the process of "reanimating" a person creates a problem. It causes the brain to die off from the outside in. The outside being the cortex, the nice part of you that makes humans human. That just leaves the part that controls basic motor function and primitive instincts behind.
    Hidden Content
    Reanimation research (artist's rendering)
    You don't need the cortex to survive; all you need is the stem and you'll still be able to mindlessly walk and eat and enjoy Grey's Anatomy. This is how chickens can keep walking around after they've been beheaded (including one case where the chicken lived Hidden Content ).
    So, you take a brain dead patient, use these techniques to re-grow the brain stem, and you now have a mindless body shambling around, no thoughts and no personality, nothing but a cloud of base instincts and impulses.
    That, ladies and gentlemen, is what we like to call a real, live, undead f*cking zombie. So there.
    Chances this could cause a zombie apocalypse:
    Think about it. Under every legal system in the world, all rights and responsibilities are terminated at death. All it takes is someone with resources and a need for a mindless workforce of totally obedient slave labor.
    How long until somebody tries this? We're betting somebody in the world, maybe Hidden Content , will have a working zombie by Christmas.



    #1.Nanobots As seen in...
    Michael Crichton's novel Prey, The PS2 game Nano Breaker
    What are they?
    Nanobots are a technology that science apparently engineered to make you terrified of the future. We're talking about microscopic, self-replicating robots that can invisbily build--or destroy--anything. Vast sums of money are being poured into nanotechnology. Sure, at some level scientists know nanobots will destroy mankind. They just can't resist seeing how it happens.
    How it can result in zombies:
    Hidden Content Scientists have already created Hidden Content , by fusing a tiny silicone chip to a virus. The first thing they found out is these cyborgs can still operate for up to a month after the death of the host. Notice how nano scientists went right for zombification, even at this early stage. They know where the horror is.
    According to Hidden Content , within a decade they'll have nanobots that can crawl inside your brain and set up neural connections to replace damaged ones. That's right; the nanobots will be able to rewire your thoughts. What could possibly go wrong?
    Chances this could cause a zombie apocalypse:
    Do the math, people.
    Some day there will be nanobots in your brain. Those nanobots will be programmed to keep functioning after you die. They can form their own neural pathways, meaning they can use your brain to keep operating your limbs after you've deceased and, presumably, right up until you rot to pieces in mid-stride.
    The nanobots will be programmed to self-replicate, and the death of the host will mean the end of the nanobots. To preserve themselves, they'd need to transfer to a new host. Therefore, the last act of the nanobot zombie would be to bite a hole in a healthy victim, letting the nanobots steam in and set up camp in the new host. Once in, they can shut down the part of the brain that resists (the cortex) and leave the brain stem intact. They will have added a new member to the unholy army of the undead.

    Now, it should be more than clear by this point that our goal is to be responsible researchers. We don't want to create a panic here. All we're saying is that on an actual day on the actual calendar in the future, runaway microscopic nanobots will end civilization by flooding the planet with the cannabalistic undead.

    Science has proven it.



    Hidden Content <---- if you wanna laugh, loads more articles there!


    -






    Last edited by Magnu420; 28-02-2010 at 11:52 PM. Reason: you could have cut the swearin out ;)

  2. #2
    Forum Supporter tinkertiler's Avatar
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    Re: 5 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Apocalypse Could Actually Happen

    I WAS going to have a early nights sleep but i think im going to find a baseball bat first and keep that next to the bed now!!!! Very interesting read though.
    Insanity is hereditary, you get it from your kids!


    Be the change you want to see in the world

  3. #3
    Elite Member Diablo13's Avatar
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    Re: 5 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Apocalypse Could Actually Happen

    Hmmm, I have just read in another thread, YOU saying you couldn't write a funny post? WTF was that then?Hidden Content

    I take off my hat to you, you are now the proud owner of the longest post on WOD! It even beats mine by miles!Hidden Content
    All these expensive scientific experiments to make zombies, when all they really need to do is legalize all drugs! There are already thousands of brain dead zombies around the world and they seem to be multiplying ok as well.
    THEY only come out at night, with the exception of signing on day!

    Maybe the scientists can create zombies who don't need drugs, which we can use to fight the drug created ones?
    We could have our own 'International Zombie Wars'?
    A bit like 'Robot Wars', but with less thought going into it?
    Get Vince Mc Mahon from the WWE to run it, I'm sure he would jump at the chance. He wouldn't even need to worry about the mandatory steroid testing with his compettitors then?

    Just think of the entertainment value of "I'm a Celebrity Zombie, get me out of here? They would eat absolutely anything without a problem!

    I suppose the obvious one would be "Dead Enders", but I doubt anyone would notice the difference between the new format and the old one!

    The film "Who Ate Gilbert Grape", would be a massive whodunnit hit, with thousands of suspects!

    You could really liven up some of the cookery shows by having the contestants pull bits off their own bodies, to cook in new and interesting ways!

    A remake of "Silence of the Lambs" would be bound to get an Oscar for best comedy?

    I could just imagine "Blue Peter" doing a 'here's one I ate earlier' spot?

    Good post PnP, really got my juices flowing, I'd better lock the door in case the neighbours smell them! Hidden Content Hidden Content


  4. #4
    Legend 10mg's Avatar
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    Re: 5 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Apocalypse Could Actually Happen

    no m8, i plagiarized the post.


    Your the king of good comedy here

    made me laugh and still laughing :Hidden Content ::Hidden Content ::Hidden Content :

  5. #5
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    Re: 5 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Apocalypse Could Actually Happen

    thats some mad sh*t m8 but it somehow makes sense was really a good read

  6. #6
    Biatch Moderator berley's Avatar
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    Re: 5 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Apocalypse Could Actually Happen

    Hidden Content i worry about you sometimes pnp, i dont know how i missed this post the first time around because its long enough Hidden Content , interesting reading ....
    gяσωιηg σℓ∂ ιѕ мαη∂αтσяу; gяσωιηg υρ ιѕ σρтισηαℓ.
    If you would like to help with the running costs of the site click below

    Hidden Content
    Honesty is better than sugar coated bullsh!t

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