Cell's not quite the Paris Hilton

[Kirsty]

Cell's not quite the Paris Hilton
PARIS HILTON is about to learn the true meaning of “the simple life”.
After a string of driving convictions, the wild-living party girl has been sentenced to a 45-day stretch inside one of Los Angeles’ most feared jails.
But how will her cell in the Century Regional Detention Facility in downtown LA measure up to a stay at one of her family’s famous hotels, the Hilton in Paris?
For an entire month-and-a-half, 26-year-old Paris’s life of luxury living on Daddy’s cash will be replaced with a living hell – banged up inside a squalid 12ft by 8ft room and rubbing shoulders with some of LA’s most unsavoury characters.
The heiress’s new home is a hotbed of drug dealers, habitual robbers and even murderers, who serve out their time by bullying weaker inmates for money and cigarettes. And, yes, we are talking about female lags.
The contrast between the life of a Beverly Hills brat and an inmate at this 2,200-capacity stone box could not be sharper.
An executive room at the Paris Hilton costs around £350 a night.
With spectacular views of the Eiffel Tower, it is popular with holidaymakers and honeymooners and is situated in the heart of one of Europe’s most beautiful cities.
All rooms include separate bathrooms with a tub and shower.
In fact, at roughly 12ft by 9ft, the en suite restroom is bigger than Paris’s entire cell.
In prison, Paris – who stands to inherit a £30million fortune – will have access to a toilet, but it will be built into the floor of the cell.
She will have to get used to squatting – and in front of an audience.
She’ll be locked up with at least one other inmate – most likely sharing a bunk bed – and it will be their responsibility to slop out the toilet and clean it with disinfectant every day.
Meanwhile at the Hilton, room service is standard and all toiletries are replaced and restocked by obliging maids. But luxuries such as toiletries will not be on Paris’s list for the next six weeks.
Make-up is considered contraband, as are any other vanity items, with the exception of hairbrushes.
The heiress – who has received online death threats from the jail’s inmates – will be issued with prison-order toothbrush, toothpaste, soap, deodorant, shampoo and shaving implements, all of which are specially designed so that they cannot be customised into weapons.
Dining at the Paris Hilton is varied and of the highest standard.
The chefs at the Restaurant Pacific Eiffel have devised a menu of international cuisine, which includes a dish of rib-eye steak for £20.
These can be washed down with a bottle of fine red wine, or with a cocktail from the Bar Suffren. The most expensive plonk on offer is a delicious Chateau Latour Grand Cru for a cool £250.
But don’t remind Paris of this – her menu will soon consist of three low-sodium meals a day, with dinner the only hot dish.
To keep costs low the only meat served is poultry – there is no beef or pork. And don’t even think about seafood.
Water is the most common beverage on offer, but if she is lucky she might get hold of some cheap, high-sugar squash. Shame that’s not allowed on the Atkins Diet.
Instead of a candlelit dining room with a pianist playing in the corner, jail meals are eaten in vast, open-plan canteens.
Guards are constantly on hand, but not to fetch them more bread or wipe down the table between courses.
Most violence inside jails happens at meal times and guards often have to use their batons to maintain order.
Breakfast inside is served between 6.00am and 7.30am. Sorry, no room service.
When you arrive at the Hilton, you are greeted with a smile and a friendly face.
When Paris arrives at jail she will be greeted by a stony-faced prison officer and a strip-search.
She will have to surrender all designer clothes and jewellery, so those signature oversized shades will be locked up and not returned until she is released.
Her Chanel suits will be replaced by all-in-one orange overalls. And she can rest assured it won’t be box-fresh like her Prada dresses.
This shapeless little number will have been worn by hundreds of women lags before her. At the Paris Hilton you can request a balcony room.
At the Prison Hilton you are considered lucky if you get a six-inch wide window with bars across it.
After a long day taking in the sights of Paris, what better way to unwind than to sink back into the luxurious double bed and flick on the TV?
Naturally, for Paris – who starred in Reality TV show The Simple Life – it won’t quite be like that.
The highlight of her day will be exercise hour. This will include walking around a dusty yard, maybe doing star jumps or a spot of jogging, and all to the yells of a physical training officer.
It’s all a far cry from the spas and cosy boutiques dotted around the Champs Elysees.
And Paris can forget about unwinding in front of the TV. Her bed will be a cramped iron cot with a mattress which stinks of delousing powder.
And the TV will be shared by dozens of inmates and protected by a wire mesh.
Unlike the luxurious Egyptian cotton bedspreads which adorn the four-posters found in her father’s hotels, Paris will have to huddle under a single wool blanket to keep herself warm at night.
Wake up call, sir/madam? No problem. Just let hotel reception know when you’d like to get up and they’ll give you a call or you can get up at your own leisure.
Paris’s wake-up call? Well, she’ll need to brace herself.
Inmates at Century are blasted out of their tiny bunks each morning by shouts from a prison officer.
These armed female guards work at the jail day in, day out, all the time being insulted, attacked and spat at.
They aren’t the most obliging of people.
It will be their job to wake Paris up and then march her to the shower blocks, where she will wash in antibacterial soap in front of dozens of other cons.
Upon leaving the Paris Hilton, guests are asked if they enjoyed their stay and if they need a car to the airport.
Upon leaving jail, Paris will be issued a stern warning and given a bus ticket back to LA Central.
The Sun Online - Bizarre: Cell's not quite the Paris Hilton