McClaren and Venables pre match meeting notes leaked

[Timoweb]

Mc – Right, Tel, thanks to Israel I can still get us through to the Euros and can’t afford any mistakes. Goalkeeper – who’s the best in the country?
TV – Rob Green
Mc – Don’t know him. Is he in the squad?
TV – No.
Mc – Who have we got – I can’t afford to play that clown Robinson again?
TV - James and Carson.
Mc – Who would you go for?
TV – Well James is in good form and has more experience.
Mc – Hmmmmm, James cost Sven a few games, I’ll go with Carson. Defence picks itself; Nev, JT, Rio and Ash.
TV – They’re all injured, Steve.
Mc – Oh. Well, Micah at right back, Ledley and Carra in the middle and the other fella who can only kick with one foot on the left.
TV – Ledley’s injured, Steve - and Carra refuses to play for his country.
Mc – Who does that leave me?
TV – Lescott and Sol.
Mc – There must be other centre halves?
TV – They’re all foreigners, Steve.
Mc – Lescott? I thought he was a left back, never mind, he’s in. Midfield is easy Becks, Lamps, Stevie G and Joe.
TV – I wouldn’t start with Becks, Steve. Not fit and playing in a Mickey Mouse league.
Mc – Well I saw him a few weeks ago and he scored twice in a 14-4 win.
TV – Save him towards the end in case we need a get out of jail card like against Greece.
Mc – Good idea – so we’ll play the little fella on the right. You know,quick with no end product.
TV – Lennon?
Mc – No, the other one. He’s Dad will be in the TV studio, so that should go down well. So that’s SWP, Lamps, Stevie G and Joe.
TV – Steve, you know Frank and Stevie G can’t play together, even my old mum knows that.
Mc – Only because neither one is defensive. I’m going to put another man behind them, Barry. That’ll fool Bilic. Now, up front. I think we should play the two that caused Russia so many problems here.
TV – Heskey and Owen?
Mc – Yep.
TV – They’re both injured.
Mc - Bugger – who would you play?
TV – Rooney and Ashton.
Mc – Excellent, two class players, they’re in.
TV – They’re both injured.
Mc – Stone me, have I upset the big man up there?
TV – Who, Barwick?
Mc –No THE big man.
TV – Crouchy won’t let you down.
Mc – How many goals has he scored this season?
TV – None
Mc – None? Is he the best we’ve got?
TV – We’ve got Defoe and Bent as well. They’ve got one goal between them.
Mc – One goal between 3 of our best players, why is that?
TV – Too many foreigners in the Premiership.
Mc – Tel, I’m struggling here, do you think I’m out of my depth?
TV – Don’t be silly, look at your CV, how many trophies have you won?
Mc – None.
TV – I’ve just remembered, I’ve got to speak to my solicitor about redundancy compensation